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  • Writer's pictureRambler, Roamer, PowerFULLHum

Self-Help Less

Updated: May 2, 2022

One of my sisters recently talked me into joining a 75-day health challenge (which I NEED). One of the requirements is reading 10 pages of a self help book every day. This has me thinking about the topic and my willingness or maybe unwillingness to seek help from others. Now I see this as twofold:

1. Looking for the answers from others via books, blogs or other mass marketed material.

2. Allowing yourself to be helped or asking for help from others.

Addressing #1 here: I have honestly read a few books that probably can be found in the self-help section of the bookstore, but as I ponder those choices and why I enjoyed them a few things come to mind. First, they weren’t flowery or fake. They were real accounts of other’s honest and sometimes ugly lives. This feels like a requirement for me. The moment I sense fake or someone writing to please or entice others, I lose all interest. Secondly, I love a little girl power. Any story of someone overcoming societal norms or stereotypes…having courage to do something radical…I can respect that. Lastly books that make you think. Like really ponder your own assumptions and choices. I value the perspectives of smart, thoughtful people and I appreciate anything that challenges my own beliefs. I have been through enough life to recognize the moment you think you know, you don’t. So someone has another point of view? Take it all in!

So, does this constitute that I am self-help less? Probably a little. I am terrible at being submissive to others rules, especially those dictated by a higher power or any individual who preys on others or insists that they blindly follow their beliefs, process or program. I am not into giving up my own power. I am also a self-accepted skeptic, so that helps a ton!

I truly and honestly believe that most of us, have within us, what is necessary to thrive. That doesn’t mean we thrive all the time. We all go through shit, feel like shit, treat others like shit, etc. I believe we have it within us all to step back, give ourselves space to think, feel, consider and process. Now I say all this knowing there are life experiences that can throw this belief off kilter. The loss of a child, a partner or your best friend, being top of that list. Thankfully I have not had to experience those, hope I don’t, know I likely will (realist), but would like to tell myself right now…you CAN and WILL overcome this too. No matter what this ugly, awesome thing called life is worth it. Always ask yourself what can I learn? What would the person I loved like to see me do here? Brush yourself off and move ahead. That is all I know how to do.

Side note: I hear you, Sister. I know I can and will do better. I owe it you to live as you couldn’t. Stepping it up… starting NOW! Healthier me around the corner.

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